Is there a nagging voice inside you? Something telling you that
maybe this person you’re spending time with isn’t the best person for
you to be with? That there’s someone better?
That your current
relationship isn’t what you had dreamed for yourself? If so, then these
are probably feelings you want to explore further. Here are eight signs
that you are dating the wrong person.
Sign #1: You’re not Happy
Sign #1: You’re not Happy
This
is a great place to start. Someone who is dating the right person
consistently enjoys the relationship and feels a general sense of
happiness. We’re not saying that they wouldn’t argue or be upset with
their partner occasionally; even the healthiest couples do that. And
we’re not saying that there wouldn’t be times when a person in a good
relationship would get down or struggle emotionally at some level. But
generally speaking, a person who is in the right relationship is going
to be happy. So if you find yourself unhappy much of the time – and
especially when you’re with your partner – then that’s a fairly clear
sign that this may not be the best person for you.
Sign #2: You Don’t Feel Good about Yourself
In
addition to feeling happy, a person in a good relationship usually has a
positive self esteem. Sure, they will have doubts and insecurities, and
they may even deal with some bigger questions about themselves. But the
time they spend with their partner will make them feel better about
themselves, not worse. In contrast, if your partner exacerbates your
self doubts and undermines your confidence, then that’s a major red flag
that this is not a good person for you to be in a relationship with.
You want someone who affirms and celebrates the great things about you,
not someone who wrecks your self confidence and torpedoes your every
attempt at growth.
Sign #3: The People you Trust Urge you to Get Out
If
the people you trust and are closest to feel that you’ve found a good
catch and therefore encourage the relationship, that’s a good sign that
you two may belong together. On the other hand, if the people who love
you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that
person’s probably not the one for you. Of course, sometimes your friends
and family may choose someone for you who isn’t a great match. In these
cases, it’s not always wise to follow their advice. But if they are the
people you trust the most and who know you best, and they are urging
you to get out of your current relationship, then you owe it to yourself
to give their advice a serious listen.
Sign #4: You Find yourself Constantly Thinking about Someone Else
It’s
not always the case that a person is wrong because of some sort of
character flaw or personal defect. Sometimes, the problem is simply that
the person isn’t someone else. If you are dating one person but
secretly wishing you were with somebody else, then that’s a problem. It
could be that it’s an ex you’re still carrying a torch for. Or maybe
it’s someone else in your life you wish you could be with. Regardless,
if you are constantly (or even frequently) wishing you were dating a
different person, then that’s a sure-fire sign that your current
relationship is not all it should be.
Sign #5: You Find yourself Denying Facts you know to be True
This
is the old “river in Egypt” problem—you’re swimming in “de Nile.” And
it can happen to all of us. We know something is true, but we just can’t
bring ourselves to see it or admit it. Maybe you don’t want to believe
something negative about your partner, or you want to ignore the fact
that all you two ever do is argue when you’re together. Whatever the
actual issue, if you are working hard to deny facts about your
relationship that you know to be true, then you are probably dating the
wrong person.
Sign #6: The Cons of Staying Together Outweigh the Pros
A
cost-benefit analysis can be helpful in situations other than at the
office. Sit down for a few minutes and write down the advantages of
continuing to date the person you are with. Then list the disadvantages.
When you compare the lists, you might determine that the reasons to
stay together are more compelling than the reasons to break up. But if
the opposite appears to be the case, then let logic be your guide and
move on to someone else.
Sign #7: Your Instincts are Saying get Out
As
a general rule, voices inside you are there for a reason, and they
ought to be listened to. Sometimes an inner voice may tell us that we’ve
found our soul mate, or simply that we should continue to pursue a
relationship until we discover how fulfilling it can be. But sometimes,
something within us is whispering (or even screaming) that we’re dating
the wrong person. If this is the case for you, then one of the worst
things you can do is to ignore that voice. Give it free reign and let it
direct you to the conclusion you may have already come to.
Sign #8: You Already Know the Truth
It
might be the case that at this point, you really don’t know whether you
are dating the wrong person. If so, then you may want to continue the
relationship for a while longer so you two can explore whether you
should be together. Relationships often take time to achieve their full
potential. But you may determine that you are dating someone you should
definitely not be dating. If so, then you need to be brave enough to do
what you need to do, and end the relationship.
Find someone
who treats you like you need to be treated and makes you happy. Someone
who makes you feel good about yourself, and whom the people you trust
encourage you to be with. Someone who, when you are really honest with
yourself, you know deserves to become that special person in your life.
When you find that person, you won’t have to worry that you’re dating
the wrong person
#SALVATUS PEREZ blog
#BooksBe4Bitches
#BooksBe4Bitches
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